… although one may well suspect they never really left that world of fantasy. Zeitgeist Spam has woven parts of the story into his/her own narrative, or rather poem, called ‘In the House of the Hangman, 245’. I quote in part:
So be it. “So it goes…” Only the implacable gravitational expansion will continue, driven by the currently inexplicable force called
‘dark energy’, which will keep pushing the extinguished universe deeper and deeper into an eternal and unfathomable blackness. So be it. But in the meantime … I just received this, um, rather astonishing email from Charlie Haws, Manager of Programs at the SBL. Please tell me it’s spam. Dear Professor: Even though so near to the meeting, I am writing you about the title of your paper in the Prophetic Texts and Their Ancient Contexts session S20-330, “Too Many Dicks on the Threshing Floor, or, How to Organise a Prophetic Sausage-Fest.” It is the first Annual Meeting presentation to use the word “sausage,” to my knowledge, and indeed a little controversially. I appreciate the gendered paronomasia in the first portion of the sentence, but it has come to my attention that the second part of the sentence is offensive to some. To be clear, it is only the last phrase “sausage-fest” that has been taken as gratuitous. Would you consider revising the title to something like “Too Many Prophetic Dicks at the Writing Desk” or “Too Many Dicks at the Prophetic Writing Desk”? How about Ba-donk-a-donk? In fact, “favorite Platonic dialogue” is probably the philosophical equivalent of zodiac signs. You have the Timaeus people, who are generally either hipster vitalists or colorful antiquarians. You have plenty of Republic people, and they could be of all different types because there’s so much in it. You have the Sophist people, who tend to be grave ontologists with beards. What other types
are there? Symposium people. Right. It may even be my second favorite. I’m a Meno with Symposium rising. “On the nose, this explodes with intense aromas of freshly sliced granadilla joined by notes of lemon curd. Hints of geranium and just mowed lawn, with suggestions of asparagus braised with tarragon, rise from the glass to add intrigue and complexity to the top notes.” There is a metal chord struck, it means something. You grow a perfect valve. Say you meet those people constantly and care for them as strangers. You can tape your foot to a padded carpet and you can bash your fingers into the plastic desk like an interjective mist projecting heated spores from Andromeda. People are barbers. People are barbers. The easy allure of frozen pizza never ends. What’s easy? Nothing. Everything. Horses wonder who you are. If you take people there for the first time they often remark, “I love the angel wings.” And you would think there would be angel wings because it’s a church. But no, they’re actually stone-carved tree branches and fronds, their delicate leaves poised for flight. The finger in the aerosol spray stops the rise of the amoebas they devolve into human hands so splendorous blood spurts out from between the broken pieces now he feels the need to carry a heavy object. Everybody has one missing piece. Heaven? What’s heaven? Can we clean it up? Not really. The background is a colorful PROCESS shot. Switching phones, I look up. “Into the basket, Musette!” You and the gyrostats. And the glorious heat from the Minoan candles … when the wind gusts, the leafless acacia bushes thrash about as if possessed and flatten themselves to the road.
[Note: Sources: JBR; Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five; Fabio Gironi, and Ray Brassier, as quoted by Gironi, in his “Science-Laden Theory: Outlines of an Unsettled Alliance”, in Speculations 1, at Speculations; Roland Boer, “SBL censorship: ‘Sausage-fests’ are unacceptable”, at Stalin’s Moustache, 23 Oct 010, via Mikhail Emelianov, “Society of Biblical Literature: No Sausage-Fest Allowed?”, at Perverse Egalitarianism, 23 Oct 010; Dicktionary: a list of penis euphemisms, at Gregology.net; Graham Harman, “speaking of favorite Platonic dialogues”, at Object-Oriented Philosophy, 23 Oct 010; anonymous, “blurb exuberance”, at ursprache, 20 Oct 010. From here through Dana Ward I sampled Con/Crescent 2 (eds. Nicholas A. DeBoer & J Townsend) via Thom Donovan, “Con/Crescent # 2”, at Wild Horses of Fire, 22 Oct 010; Nicholas A. DeBoer & J Townsend, “AN EDITOR’S NOTE”; Denise Dooley, “A NIGHT OF PASSIONATE KAROAKE IN TWO DIFFERENT BARS BROUGHT ABOUT A SERIES OF PROFOUND THOUGHTS HERE THEY ARE FOR YOU SINCERELY FROM DENISE DOOLEY”; Greg Bem, “UNSOUND: MEMORIES OF SOUND”; Will Alexander, Exobiology as Goddess, as quoted in Travis Cebula, “WILL ALEXANDER IN THE AETHER”; Dana Ward, “IT’S SO EASY”. CA Conrad, and Eileen Myles, on my way, as quoted in Conrad’s “Eileen Myles: Clothed In Nature With An Open Ear”, at Ratapallax 1; Yoshioka Minoru, “A Comedy”, in Eric Selland “Yoshioka Minoru: Prose Poems from Monks (1958) (tr. Eric Selland)”, at The New Modernism: Japanese Modernist & Avant-Garde Poetry, Translations, Explorations, 15 Oct 010; Jaymi Heimbuch, “The Pacific Garbage Patch Explained — New Updates. Everything You Need to Know to Make It Go Away”, at Planet Green, 9 Jul 010; Jack Kimball, untitled poem/posts, at pantaloons, 20 & 22 Oct 010; line from some old (Disney?) animated film, undoubtedly misremembered, because nothing shows up on Google …; Boris Pasternak, Dr Zhivago (trs. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky)]