Here in Newcastle a battle royal is under way between a ‘business-friendly’ dominated city council and the local residents (plus the greens and the mayor). The issue: iconic 80 year-old figs in the city centre. You see, the council wants them removed, but everytime they try, some old fogeys chain themselves to the trees, swear at the council workers and fart in their general direction.

Meanwhile, a visitor with less than 20-20 vision was in town and noticed one of the many protests. Peering across, he then turned to his host and said, ‘Save our fags! Isn’t that wonderful. I heard Australia is on the way to recognising gay marriage’.

So he walked on over and effusively congratulated one of the protestors for their progressive stand, only to look up at the placard and read ‘Save our figs‘.

The possibilities are endless: