Of course the timing of this has nothing to do with Easter, but the Turin Shroud Center in Colorado has conned someone into giving them a shitload of money in order to recreate the face of Jesus from that 13th century forgery:

I don’t know about you, but he looks remarkably like those traditional pictures of some dude with a beard. But hey, why not use the Turin Banana:

Or perhaps the iron:

Or the KitKat found next to the shroud:

Or the Turin Dog’s Arse:

But the real question is: what would Jesus do in response to all of this speculation?

Or maybe …

Update: with thanks to Sean Burt.