In gathering material for my ‘Music Album Musical Bum of the Bible’ (and there is far more than one might initially imagine), occasionally a gem appears. For instance, this effort at a philosophy of farting:

Farts are not all equal. Most are ho-hum, run-of-the-mill farts that are just a question of necessity. Some, however, are great and noble farts. They have resonance, volume, stink, they bring relief, express one’s mood, extend the self outward; they are one’s very soul expressed, squeezed, enfleured, captured, and displayed as an offering of the self, available just for a moment, then gone on the wind. In erupting from the body, the fart splits the body open, rendering it no longer single and hermetically sealed. Its orifice apert, the body has become double within itself; difference and otherness are within. The is the Fart Absolute, the distillate of distillate of one’s being.

Valerie Allen, On Farting, p. 104.