I have always looked forward to getting a bit older and am now enjoying it thoroughly. Memory becomes richer, the twinkle in one’s eye becomes stronger, experiences are felt more intensely … and you begin to see all the good things you have inherited. Such as varicose veins, or more specifically the dodgy valves in your legs that lead to those blue bulges. Finally made it to the phlebologist over the last couple of days, who had a wonderful time injecting all manner of liquids into my veins for the purpose of making them shrivel and disappear. He thoroughly enjoyed himself, a rough-and-ready Hunter working class type who joked about condoms, talked about cycling, stated as he injected my thighs, “Now that is gunna bruise!” By the time he had finished punching about 150 needles into some very sensitive spots, I felt like I had been sitting on a green ant nest. At the end he ripped on a pair of bum-high super-tight compression stockings I have to wear non-stop for 2 weeks (barring the occasional wash). I even had to shave my upper thighs and glue the tops of the stockings in place: