The pleasures of middle age

I have always looked forward to getting a bit older and am now enjoying it thoroughly. Memory becomes richer, the twinkle in one’s eye becomes stronger, experiences are felt more intensely … and you begin to see all the good things you have inherited. Such as varicose veins, or more specifically the dodgy valves in your legs that lead to those blue bulges. Finally made it to the phlebologist over the last couple of days, who had a wonderful time injecting all manner of liquids into my veins for the purpose of making them shrivel and disappear. He thoroughly enjoyed himself, a rough-and-ready Hunter working class type who joked about condoms, talked about cycling, stated as he injected my thighs, “Now that is gunna bruise!” By the time he had finished punching about 150 needles into some very sensitive spots, I felt like I had been sitting on a green ant nest. At the end he ripped on a pair of bum-high super-tight compression stockings I have to wear non-stop for 2 weeks (barring the occasional wash). I even had to shave my upper thighs and glue the tops of the stockings in place:


11 thoughts on “The pleasures of middle age

  1. Gosh, your doc really has superior technology, using injections only. Had mine done 15 years ago, and the quack made incisions at various points in my legs, and pulled the varicosed veins out with forceps like pieces of spaghetti. Good thing I was heavily sedated. Delighted to have the thing done though, such a relief after years of having ‘heavy leg’ problems.

    Had to wear those compression stockings as well.

    Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll be on your bike soon!

    1. That kind of barbaric thing is still done, I hear, but not by phlebologists. All injections and lasers. I went for the injections: more effective and cheaper. Was on my bike within half an hour of walking first. He suggested the bike was fine exercise for my delicate pins.

  2. Oh my sweet baby Jesus. This blog appears to be turning into something akin to the facebook postings of my previous teenage female clients.

      1. Can’t wait til I see your personal interpretations of the various pieces of art you have posted here in the past!

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