How to write to one’s superiors

We really have lost the art of writing appropriately to our superiors. ‘Dear’, ‘Hey’, ‘Hi’ doesn’t really cut it. So how about we return to something like:

Say to the king, my lord, my god, my Sun: Message of Adda-danur your servant, the dirt at your feet. I fall at the feet of the king, my lord, my god, my Sun, 7 times and 7 times. I looked this way, and I looked that way, and there was no light. Then I looked towards the king, my lord, and there was light. A brick may move from under its partner, still I will not move from under the feet of the king, my lord.

Written to Amen-hetep III, who happened to be a pharaoh in the second millennium. But spare a thought for the poor scribe, pushing this stuff into a piece of wet clay before getting to the substance of the message.

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